When I was young, we had no art in our house growing up. I think the only art I ever saw was of God and Jesus at church… and I wasn’t really a fan. Once I became a teenager and could buy myself magazines, I would regularly tear out pages and stick them up all over my bedroom walls. They would be photography, film stills, fashion editorials, ads, and sometimes magazines would have small pictures of paintings – those were my favourite and they were more rare. They all felt like windows into a world out there somewhere. And it seemed creative and colourful and interesting. Putting images on my walls made me feel like the space was mine, I could make it anything I wanted it to be, and I could put up anything that inspired me.
When I was in my early twenties, I moved into my first apartment in Toronto. I was studying fashion in college and I felt like life was full of wonder and possibility. I was looking through a magazine one day and there was an Alitalia advertisement with an image of something I had never seen before. The picture above wasn’t this exact image (I don’t think), but I remember it looking just like this – the night sky, the warm glow, the flowers… I had literally never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I tore the ad out of the magazine, folded it up so that it was just the image, and I stuck it to my wall above my dresser. I had no idea what it was, where it was, or if it was even real. I was just in love with the beauty of it and the way it made me feel. It felt romantic, it felt like perfection, it felt like a dream. I couldn’t even fathom ever going to this dream place, as I didn’t know where it was and it was just so out of the question. I never even considered it. I just loved it. And I loved the way it made me feel. The way it filled me with wonder, love, and possibility. Just to know that it exists, just to see it, made me happy. I didn’t even consider anything beyond that.
It was within a couple of years that I was taking singing lessons and my teacher mentioned she was planning a trip to Italy with some friends. My grandmother was Italian and I had always wanted to go, so when she invited me to join them I absolutely said yes!
I must have realized that the image of the steps was in Italy, because I remember mentioning it to her. I think we were in Italy and I was like ‘there’s these stairs, I don’t know where they are, but I want to try to find them.’ She was like,’ ya, it’s probably the Spanish steps and they’re in Rome’. We can totally go see them when we’re in Rome.
When in Rome…
We were walking around the city, and someone was looking at a map (pre-smart phone days), and we were walking in the direction towards the Spanish steps. And like a scene from a movie, I walked around a corner and there they were, right in front of me. It took my breath away. I was truly in awe. Complete shock that I had put this picture up on my wall and had somehow found my way here. And somehow with almost no effort. It felt like magic.
My teacher insisted that she take my picture in front of them. I’m the worst at getting pictures of myself while travelling or doing anything of interest. I’m always so in the moment that I literally forget to do it. But I am so effing glad she took the picture.
People talk about manifesting a lot, but I had never heard of it back then. It just felt magical. And I think I prefer to think about it that way. Manifesting feels like a very active and strong handed word to me, but magic feels very eyes closed and hands off. You just let it happen without any force or stress.
It was an incredible moment for me and for a long time I had not seen the lesson in it. What you put in front of you every day matters. It should be your choice, it should be what you desire, what you want, who you want to be, where you want to go. A reflection of who you are. And you need to see it every day, acknowledge it every day, and feel it every day.
When it comes to art, it’s so subjective, but I think the most important thing is that it means something to you. It doesn’t have to mean anything to anyone else. It is all about the meaning the viewer gives it. Why does it matter to you? What do you feel when you look at it? If it’s something that inspires you, brings you closer to yourself, or just makes you wonder, then it might be for you. It’s so personal.
For myself when I create, I notice that I am bringing forth something I feel inside into the physical world because I feel like I have to. It’s the way I make sense of things, relate to the world, and discover myself. Through my work I see who and am and who I want to be. And for a long time I was happy to just create for myself. But once I saw other people react to it, I was like ‘oh shit it gets better’. It is a deeply moving experience to see people connect with my work. I don’t see it as validation, it feels like connection. And we don’t have to see it the same way. We can see and feel totally different things and still connect through it. And that’s what I love about art. It is truly a means of connection. A connection to ourselves and each other.
So put things up on the walls of your living space, and the walls of your mind, that really make you feel something special, something magical, and just let yourself dream about it every day.
Happy dreaming.
Holly
